Awesome:

The story is told of a Australian whose favorite hobby is ballooning who decided to practice her favourite sport one Sunday afternoon. She miscalculates the wind and gets blown across the Pacific Ocean and lands in a field someplace in America. As she is lying there half-stunned in the basket, an American rushes up and says, “What happened?” The Australian woman says, “Where am I?” The American replies, Why, you are in a basket in the middle of a field.” To which the Aussie woman asks, “Are you an economist?” “Yes I am, how did you know?” said the American. “Because the information you have given me is completely accurate and totally useless.”

Via MinusCar, a group of Iowans have started an online petition, seeking to put a measure on the ballot to make bicycling on farm-to-market roads illegal. Because, you know, when you’re driving along on a back country road in your minivan, just trying to send a text message to your husband or pastor, and you accidentally kill a cyclist, it really makes you feel bad. And not just for a little while! Sometimes you feel really, really bad about killing someone with your car for a long time! Plus, just like hitting a deer, it can cost a lot of money to fix the car.

A commenter notes that there is now a counter-petition to have motor vehicles removed from Iowa’s rural roads:

Over the past ten years the number of motorists using these farm-to-market roads has increased dramatically, as have the number of preventable accidents and fatalities.

Traditional rural methods of commerce are significantly impacted when forced to share the farm-to-market roadways with motorists. Because of the growth of today’s commerce and agricultural business, shared roadways are no longer safe or practical in today’s society.

Operators of automobiles routinely disobey speed limits, spook horses and raise clouds of dust. They zip about, and act as though they own the public road itself!

So please if you are a resident of the world join us and help make our roadways safe for both people and livestock. Thanks for your time and your support.

My favorite comment so far:

These 4 wheeled horseless carriges have gone too far, besides creating useless wars for rubber, oil, steel they create a place for youths to experiment with sex and liquor! Time to ban them from all our roads!

Sex and liquor? Really? Hm. Maybe I should drive a car more often.

I know that saying this may result in some gnashed teeth and rent garments, but I’m going to state, unequivocally, that I think this is going too far. I’m reasonably certain that Iowa’s rural roads can accomodate bicycles, tractors, buckboards, and motor vehicles, and that people can share the road safely and responsibly.

Maybe the folks on opposite sides of this debate need to get together, and experiment with sex and liquor (maybe even in a car, so long as they’re not driving on a rural road at the time). I mean, it couldn’t hurt?

Dennis Perrin is watching the Democratic Convention, and makes a valid point in the midst of all the Blue Lovin’.

I’m happy that Michelle Obama found success in her life and loves her family, but why the fuck should I care? Her husband presumes to exert state control over me and mine, spending my tax dollars for expanded war in Afghanistan, continuing misery for the Palestinians, narco-war and repression in Colombia, among other wonderful projects, and I’m supposed to melt because his wife can read hackneyed, Hallmark copy from a teleprompter?

John McCain, presidential candidate, was hoping that his wife would enter a biker beauty contest! Like this one!

Toby Keith just called Barak Obama an Oreo!

Paris Hilton responded to attacks by John McCain by proposing a reasonably coherent, bipartisan compromise on energy policy!

Yeeeeeeeeeeehaw!!! Note to whomever put the acid in my thermos this morning: that is some first class shit! Thank you! I am tripping balls!

Bike To Work Day was, for many of us in cities around the world, an opportunity to ride in solidarity with our fellow commuters, raise bicycle awareness at a time when it’s needed more than ever, and have a good ol’ time doing it.

But in our enthusiasm to celebrate all that is The Ride To Work, and the delight of cycling generally, we’ve left behind some of our brothers and sisters who’ve experienced a particular tragedy that I hope never to know myself.

I’m talking about victims of Low Clearance Height. It’s something most of us never think about, and hopefully won’t ever have to. But for those who’ve driven their roof-mounted bikes into low overhangs, whether they be at a McDonald’s dozens of miles from home, or the garage door of their very own house, the nightmare never ends. Or it does, but it takes a while. Or it really fucks up their weekend.

Thankfully, a dedicated group of San Franciscans is making sure that those crushed and mangled bikes, those horribly scratched cars, those somewhat messed up garages, and those seriously inconvenienced Wienerschnitzel managers are not forgotten.

It’s too late to participate this year. But next year on Drive Your Bike To Work Day, when you see them driving up your street, roofs overflowing with racked bikes, won’t you take a moment to remember?

(h/t Anonymous commenter at Planetary Gears)

Via UrbanVelo, One Got Fat, a 1963 bicycle safety film, featuring 9 kids, wearing monkey masks and tails, 8 of whom meet grisly ends to goofy music. Great bikes, great clothes, outstanding acting. The plot… the subtext… it’s truly excellent. Think you can recognize the voice of the narrator?

It’s Edward Everett Horton, a distinguished performer in radio, television, and movies over 5 decades, and who was the narrator for the Fractured Fairy Tales segment of Rocky and Bullwinkle. (That’s the one that made the light bulb appear over my head.)