Friday Afternoon Interlude (Horns and Bells Edition)
The Internet, bless its heart, sent us a couple AirZound refillable air horns for our steeds, and some Incredibells too. By gawd, we will be heard.
Getting in and out of Northeast D.C. requires riding some routes that aren’t bike friendly, and as much as I’m averse to riding sidewalks, there are some spots where it’s safer than being on the street. I take it slow and easy through those sections of the commute, and make every attempt to be courteous and non-threatening to pedestrians since I’m a guest on their turf. Even in my most cheerful voice, yelling “Coming up on your left!” feels abrasive. The sweet tones of the bell are a mellifluous way to announce my approach, and break the ice enough to occasionally say “Good Morning” as I pass.
And then, upon returning to the road, I frequently have to get the attention of motorists who don’t seem to notice that they’re about to cross my path. I’ve found that yelling is effective, but there’s a chance they’ll take it as a sign that I’m engaging them in a conversation.
The last such conversation took place one night recently, as the family and I were headed home from the pool, with a young woman riding shotgun in her friend’s car. He floated through his stop sign, nearly T-boning me in slow motion, so I yelled “HEY!”. I got their attention, and he stopped for the 2 seconds it took my family to clear the front of his car, but she felt like she had to respond, and passed on this piece of advice: “You need to learn to… watch out!” I’m doing ten miles an hour on a straight road, following a massive parade-float of a bike with my wife and both kids on it, we’re both decked out in lights front and rear, passing directly in front of his car. And I need to learn to “watch out.”
Yeah, so I’ve decided I don’t want motorists mistakenly believing I’m interested in talking to them, I just want to let ‘em know I’m there. And ya know what seems to work really well for that? A refillable 115 dB air horn, that’s what. I’ve used it two or three times since I put it on the commuter earlier this week, and it definitely got the reaction I was hoping for from the daydreaming, phone yammering, cavalier drivers (which is not to say, drivers of Chevy Cavaliers) that may or may not have been pretending I wasn’t there. You’re awake now there, eh buddy!
Ironically, the one person I really wish I’d had it ready for was the young lady on the bicycle, early in the week, that blew through her red light at 14th to make a right on Rhode Island just as I was coming through with the green and traffic. Having to grab fistfuls of brake to avoid crashing another cyclist, one who actually saw me coming and decided to cut me off anyway, was beyond annoying. I expect that kind of dangerous disregard for bikes from drivers, this felt like a betrayal from one of my own.
Come to think of it, I’ve seen a lot of boneheaded bike maneuvers over the last few weeks, not like Idaho Stops, but “wrong way, downhill through a red, threading cross traffic” kind of stupidity. I don’t know if it’s new cyclists trying an alternative to driving, and testing the limits of natural selection, or if this is par for the area and I’m just new to this side of town. But it’s a disease, and it fuels the already abundant antagonism between bikers and drivers.
Well! Ain’t I Mr. Crankypants! Clearly, I need some release. How about we look back into the idyllic past, to a time when men in high-octane muscle cars could chase each other around San Francisco, a time when the Mustang was king, and when bad guys looked like your wood shop teacher. And how about we rock the fuck out while we do that. Check out this superdeluxe Bullit / Fu Manchu mashup, and then have a great weekend if ya can.
Tags: Entertaining Interludes
